To The Mom Who Hides Her Struggles

Ever since I was a little girl, I've always wanted to be a mom. My favorite toys were baby dolls and I treated them like they were real life human babies. Part of the reason I wanted to be a mom was because my mom made it look so fun but she also made it look easy. She was an amazing mom who made my childhood close to perfect. Whenever I looked at her, I never saw a worry in the world. It wasn't until I became a mother myself that I realized she was really strong and she was also somewhat pretending.

Why is it that every time you see a new mom or a toddler mom or a mom with pre-teens that you ask, "how are things going with the baby/kids?" And they say, "Great! Everything is great! My baby is a good sleeper. My toddler eats most of their veggies. My teenager isn't giving me an attitude." It's not true. But if it is, what's you're secret? I don't mean to sound like I'm pointing fingers and calling every mom a liar, because things can be really great sometimes and I've also pretended too. But why do we do it? Why are we pretending, especially to other moms?

I used to believe the moms who said everything was going smoothly. Until, I became a mom myself. When I go to social outings women and other moms often ask me how things are with my daughter. I usually say, "Great! Time is flying by. I can't believe she is growing up so fast." When really I want to say, "She is good, but this is hard. I'm exhausted. She isn't eating great. Breastfeeding and pumping is so mentally and physically draining. Her naps are messed up and I can't figure out why. I'm stressed about leaving her. I have major mom guilt if I leave her for a few hours." So, why don't I say those things? Especially, when half of those people asking me are supposed to my friends.

I think that society has manipulated us into thinking that our image matters over everything else. Society makes us believe that it's not okay to struggle, to not have hards days, to not be less than perfect. You see these mom influencers showing their 'day in a life videos' when that's probably their best day. I don't want to see their best day, because it makes my best day look like a dumpster fire. Tell me you don't feel the same and I'll tell you to stop pretending. Being a mother and parent is one of the hardest jobs created. So, why don't we talk about it? Why aren't we honest when asked? You would vent to your coworker about workplace hardships if they asked. So, why won't you vent to me when I ask?

The next time I see you or the next time I call/text and say, "hey, how's it going?" You don't have to pretend with me, because I want to know the truth. Chances are I've dealt with the same struggles. Chances are I might help you feel better and vice versa. I hope that other moms read this and decide to do the same thing. This isn't a competition and no one is handing out awards. It's hard, it's exhausting, and you can stop pretending like it's not.